HIATUS.

I'll be back soon, loves. After this craziness ends.

Promise.

<3


I woke up from this dream to find that I was sleeping
So I went back to sleep and I dreamed I was awake.
I locked myself inside but you were on the outside
I stood outside and watched but I couldn't let you in.

If only you could see the you that is a part of me,
Maybe you could see inside yourself.

Wrote a letter to myself, but I couldn't bear to send it
So I tore it up and wrote a letter to a friend.

If only you could know that growing up means letting go
Maybe then you'd grow up by yourself.

I'm growing up again;
I'm learning to accept all good things must come to an end.
I'm growing up again;
I'm trying to understand what it's like
To let go of a friend.

-In Spite Of The World



I know perfectly well what she thinks of me.

And it's fun to pretend like I actually care.


CARA IS BACK FROM THE DEAD.
CARA IS ALSO ACHING [LITERALLY] FROM HEAD TO TOE. THE OBLIQUES MACHINE ROCKS MUCHLY. AND SO DOES THE ROWING MACHINE.

Whooyeah.

Okay, so short post; since I don't really have much to tag about.

I HEART OUR LADY OF PEACE.

And no, it isn't Mother Mary, or some new CHIJ-clone convent school. [Why I would heart a convent school is far beyond my comprehension, 'scuse me.]

Our Lady Of Peace happens to be a band. And a really, really good one. Ordinarily I wouldn't deign to advocate my favourite music over the blogosphere- but hell. Mugging does strange, strange things to one's sanity.
I've been listening to "Superman's Dead" over and over for so long that it's a wonder it isn't coming out of my ears.

And guess who introduced OLOP to me? [...Haha. OLOP. Haha.]
Yes. None other than the infamous GEG. Short for Green Eyed Guy; but also affectionately known as Green Eyed Gollum [because, apparently, he's totally prone to talking to himself. A lot.], and more recently- courtesy of Maxine- dubbed the Green Eyed Gay.
[Which is a rather unfair statement, I'll warrant...but he was just asking for it, with a nickname like that. x) ]

So, in any case. I do not like the Green Eyed Gay ['Scuse...] Green Eyed Guy.
For one, well. We're far too similar. We started yabbering on and on the moment we started the msn convo. Which is freaky. I mean- I haven't even met him before. According to Jae, we both dress alike, listen to the same kinds of music, and basically are weird. Which translates to being ALIKE. And if he's just like me, well...I couldn't date myself now, could I? That would be just plain creepy.
Secondly. He has the same weird afflictions that I do! ...A total no-go. I mean; one of me is enough for the world to handle as it is...let alone have the TWO of us together. Fate destined it such that the both of us would be separated by oceans and seas and continents. Fate destined for the both of us to be in totally DIFFERENT countries; to avoid the havoc that would ensue if the both of us- *gasp*- ganged up and started our plan for total world domination.
Thirdly. According to Jae, he has a soulmate named Harriet. Now, I personally don't have anything, um, personal against the name Harriet.
But I would so not date anyone with a soulmate named Harriet.

[My apologies to the Harriets all over the world.]
[Especially if you happen to be a Harriet, and you're reading my blog at this very moment.]
[In which case...I'm really, really sorry.]
[But hey- I don't know any Harriets in the first place, and I definitely haven't given any Harriet my blog URL...so why the hell're you reading my blog, now?]

...Okay, but enough of GEG already.

[/endtease]

Moving on.
My life has been one blur of muggingggggg. I can't wait for eoys to end because, well, they're eoys and NOBODY, like, DOESN'T want them to end.
I have so many things lined up for after eoys. So like the nice girl that I am...
1. Go on a star cruise!
2. Go charm shopping
3. Go clothes shopping
4. Lose the lovehandles I've probably put on due to eoy stress
5. Canoeing!
6. Resume bellydancing classes
7. Write, write, write. Arcada Xeniar and Tarian Le'Raeth [that isn't his real surname, but whatever. I haven't decided on his last name yet] await me.
8. Rent "John Tucker Must Die" DVD!
9. Girls' Night Out <3

...Which pretty much sums it all up. Of course there's more, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to be bored by all the nitty gritties.

...And with that- it's back to mugging.
Love you, love you all, love Maxy [and Thai Express!], love Jae [I still miss ya], love Loth [I am so psyched for you, hun!], love 2G, love loving.

I bid y'all a fair adieu.

<3


Hello.
Rawrrr. Aye, tis I....Cap'n Jackie Sparrow.
Arrrrrrr.

Okay, I've noticed that certain people have very thoughtfully pointed out to me that all I ever seem to blog about is guys. [Which is totally untrue! You probably just haven't read enough of my archives. I mean, I'm sure there's gotta be at least ONE post down there which doesn't have any mention of guys]
But I happen to love these certain people very much. Which means that, like the kind loving soul that I am, I shall post a post with no mention of annnny boys whatsoever. [Except for the front bit where I talked about people talking about me talking about boys, which doesn't count, and now I'm confusing myself.]

...Aaaand.
I have exactly ten minutes to rant and rave and ramble [and so assemble a decent and somewhat coherent blogpost] before Eunice chases me off the computer to start printing out posters for our CIP project.
Which has a lousy name, btw.
Happy Toilets. Like, wtf. [Jae spells it as "wft" but I know that that's WRONG! *gloats*]
I'm sorry, but yeah. Maybe it's just me- but I cringe whenever I hear that name.
Brings to mind far too many...vivid...[and vaguely disturbing] images.
Or maybe the rest of the people are just devoid of the ability to feel DEEP and PASSIONATE emotions like MORTIFICATION and UTTER HUMILIATION.

Unlike me.

Because I happen to be an extremely sensitive, extremely emotionally-attuned person so there.

[I do hope I don't get sued by Happy Toilets & Co. or whateveritis for writing this post.]

.............

[DISCLAIMER: By writing this post, I have no intentions of bringing any negative publicity to the Happy Toilets Programme, because I am a useful member of society and I recognize that Community Service cultivates good things in people.
Also, I do not have any wish to get sued. ]

...Ahh, the relief that being a responsible member of society brings.

[/edit]

JAE HAS CONFIRMED IT.
I'M NO LONGER EMO, I WAS NEVER GOTH IN THE FIRST PLACE [just almost Goth. But whatever. Same thing.] AND THEREFORE I AM NOT GOTH!

Never was, never will be- so stick that up there and suck my black spiked wristcuffs.

....Mmhm. Now, before I get an entire legion of black-clad, angst-riddled kids with blood fetishes hot on my heels and armed with boots and spikes and whateverothergoodies they've found at Hot Topic...I'd better make a move.

Ciaaaaao.

I have come up with a solution to yank my life out of this rut by the ends of its beribboned pigtails!

Wanna know wanna know wanna know?!

[Well Ima tell you anyway.]

I NEED TO FIND A NEW GUY TO TEASE.
Any volunteers?

[Disclaimer: If a) you’re a guy and b) you're reading my blog and c) both a and b apply to you, rest assured. By virtue of the fact that you actually have possession of my blog's obsolete URL and are reading my evenmore obsolete posts; it probably means that you're one of my guyfriends and I have nothing against you. Because I have impeccable taste in guyfriends hoho.]

Anyway anyway. BTTP. [That's Back To The Point, for those of you not in the know] I NEED TO FIND A NEW GUY TO TEASE!

And for those of you who're wondering-it doesn't work that way for the opposite gender because if I randomly complain about some random girl, she'd probably b***h back about me in her own journal [like ilurbharrtshahax.blogspot.com] – and anyway if I ranted about a girl it'd be discriminating against my own kind, and where's the sense in that?

Which reminds me. Ima tally up the YESses and the NOses [noses, buaha!] of dear, dearest GEG! [If you have no idea who I’m talking about, you have two options.
a) give up, close this blog window and go stuff yourself with junkfood
b) read on. There is still hope, gallant knight, and the light may yet still be revealed to you.]

#YESses
1. Dark-haired, green-eyed
2. Writes [but writes what, I have no idea.]
3. Is the same grade as I am, but is [miraculously!!!] older than I am. By a few days, I reckon. And since I'm born in January and HARDLY ANYONE is older than me AND in the same grade…well. That's quite a feat. And a furrehkayye coincidence, since I've only ever met around 6 people in my entire life who're older than I am but in the same level.
4. Would look decent with...a new haircut? According to Jae. But then again, Jae's taste is warped. xD
5. Is [and I quote Jae] "Roy sweet". Although as to whether that's a good thing, I dunno. Also, coming from a person who I had to spend ten whole minutes online with trying to get her to recall who Roy was...well. Might not be that reliable yeah. ;D
6. You never know, right? I mean, he could be
[Note to self: Ahh too many YESses. Must stop right here and move onto NOses, ASAP.]

#NOses
1. Um. I’ve never met him, yeah? Andand my dad put the nogo on going to Dubai...So's.
2. He might have a girlfriend. [Or! Potential girlfriend. Like, JAE. Ooh, I sense soap opera drama.]
3. HE LIVES ALL THE WAY IN DUBAI AND UNLESS JAE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO SMUGGLE HIM IN HER SUITCASE ALONG WITH THE MINI SNICKERS AND BRINGS HIM HERE FOR CNY, WE'LL NEVER GET TO ACTUALLY MEET.
Which would suck.
4. I have more really awesome reasons.
5. I just haven't thought of them yet.
6. No, I have. But they're just so awesome that, like, it'd be illegal to blog about them here.
7. Because they're reallyreally good reasons.

There.
*tallies on fingers*
7 NOses vs. 65 YESses.

*does random rabbit dance of randomosity*

K NOW TO GO AND MUG. MUGMUGMUGGG.

[/endramble]


Right now I just feel really awful.

WHY DO I FEEL SO DOWN.

It isn't as if I have anything to actually feel properly down about. Oh no.

Other people are out there starving and hurting and being misused. Somewhere out there, someone's being
a) raped
b) murdered
c) beaten up
d) all of the above

...And me?

Let's see- I'm:
a) sitting in front of an iMac
b) stuffed with food
c) going to put on weight soon as a result of (b)
d) all of the above

I HAVE ABSO-BLOODY-LUTELY NO EXCUSE WHATSOEVER TO FEEL THIS WAY.

[And no, it's not emo tendencies.]

---

It's one of those awful times when you just drop a book; and you feel like breaking down and crying.
What makes it worse is that I know I shouldn't be crying, I'm not justified to be talking crap like this, and I don't have a proper reason to be sad. If I actually had a decent reason, at least I'd not feel so weird. Not that I want anything bad to happen, or whatever. I'm just saying.

...Suggestions to improve my life and get me out of this, anybody?

I'm open to anything.

Yeah, I'm that desperate.

...But even in the pits of despair, I still lurve y'all. <33 Thanks for the email, Jae dahl, if you're reading this. Love you lots.

Love all of you, ackshually.

Always have, always will, never will stop.


[Untitled. For now, anyways.]

I'm sick to death of this tirade of fickle truths[?]
Like a step off a cliffhanger they glimmer and warble pale promiscuity,
promising something which I bet can never be.
Take a gamble and toss in your pride, we'll have order-in humanity tonight
and maybe tomorrow they'll tell you you're perfect,
Give you a job chasing stars and leave you bleeding brand names.
Don't you see?
This is [or could never be] a footstep in the right direction; you're doing something beautifully
[WRONG]
and I, I for one wonder
when you'll make these walls (apple)crumble and eat them

Oh, we all know I know that you know;
[I wonder now]
If you keep on keeping this up
You'll be going down by middawn

I hate to interrupt your charade
But you're doing the actions all wrong.

------

CURRENT MOOD: Blah.

Blah, blah, blah. I need another caffeine pill; but the package says "Do not consume after 4pm unless you wish to be well energized into the evening", and I need my sleep tonight.

If only I could just dump in a *insertincrediblywittyblogposthere*, right in this space; and hit "Publish Post".

Unfortunately, tagworthy blogposts don't just write themselves. [Ah, the cruelty of life.]

Actually. This post probably isn't going to be tagworthy. Not much, anyway. So just give me the title of "WORST BLOGPOST EVER TO BE WRITTEN- EGAD", and leave me be already.

[P.S you could leave a tag too. ...Tagging Cara never hurt anybody.]

[Not yet, anyway.]

[But I'm pretty sure y'all have insurance, so's.]

...........

Ah, heck.

*INSERTINCREDIBLYWITTYBLOGPOSTHERE*

[/PUBLISH POST]

[/FINITO]




YAY WE'RE NOT MIGRATINGGGGG!

I'm terribly sorry to spring news like that on y'all just, like, BABOOM.
But there you have it.
Yes, my dad's been deliberating on it for some time, and we got so close- but now...

We're not migrating to Florida. No Cupertino. No Disney World. No San Jose High School. No Cupertino High School.
No flying far, far away on a plane this November.
Yeah, this sodding November. Shockkkk.

*tapdances*

And I won't have to be pressganged into the formidable ranks of Those Who Had To Migrate.
[I hear they've recruited a new member; all the way in Dubai. *winks*]

Andand. These people [see below, copyright CHS Drama Society, with all thanks] won't have to suffer ME [yes, poor ol' me] being their Drama-mate.





...Okay, I do realize that this 'as probably come as a total shock to most of you.
Fine, make that all.
I didn't really want to tell anyone.
Too much angst.

Oh but YAY I WON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN CUPERTINO.

Not that, y'know, Cupertino's bad or whatever. But I'd kind of much rather stay here. I mean, it's my home, innit?
...And besides. What would all of you do without me?

<3


NEWSFLASH.
Cara's life.
Again.

[Oh, wait. Insertbirthdaygreeting here. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, AUDDORABLE! <3]

...Aye, I'm back from sailing.

Darker, leaner, and meaner.
...Okay, so maybe not that much leaner. [*grumbles*] But definitely darker. And meaner. [I splashed people a lot. I'm sure that's counted.] Andand! I'm a pirate now. Call me Cap'n Jackie Sparrow. [And no, it's not plagiarism, ye landlubbers. ]
Arrr.

Anyway. Sailing was great. I'd give y'all pictures- only, unlike my dear friend Maxy- I've never been one for the tradition of tacking up pictures on Blogger. [Just you wait, mate. The obsessive-compulsive-I-must-put-photographs-on-Blogger-or-I-will-die! virus hasn't got you yet. But it will. ...Mark my words.]
[Also, the fact that my Mac doesn't 'zackly upload pictures v.fast makes it a royal pain in the arse yeah.]
So I shall just use the span of my gossamery, oh-so-flowery vocabulary to- whee!- paint you a prettiful picture of what happened.

I HEART THE ROYAL YACHT CLUB.
...Egad, they even have a vegetarian menu! [!!!] [!!!!]
And. If y'all don't believe I'm anti-B; this much is true:
I'm anti-man.
[Well, with the exclusion of my father and grandfathers. And my uncles and newfound-pool-playing cousins.]
[Oh, and my mum's gym trainer because 1) he's a bouncer at Zouk, which is fully awesome and 2) he's fun to tease and 3) I have devised a master-plot to one day force on pain of death persuade him to let me into Zouk for a looksee.]
[But besides those few people, I'm totally anti-man. ]

'Cept that being ANTI-MAN sounds so gross.
Like some kind of insect repellant or something.

But back to the point.
If I hadn't gone off guys before today, I so totally would have this afternoon. All through lunch, I had an entire table of creepy middle-aged men ogling at me and verrrry loudly clearing their throats and trying to catch my attention.
Like, hello. Could y'guys be any more subtle?
And omigosh. As if I care how loud you clear your throats. Like I would actually date any of you?!

Dream on, dudes. Dream on.

[And besides, they didn't even have green eyes.]

...There was this one cute guy, though. With two of his uncles, I reckon. He kept glancing back to look at me, which was totally awkward because for some reason [why oh why!!!] I had decided to sport two ponytails for sailing t'day. I mean, they were cute ponytails. Like, perky and bouncy and all.
But gawwwww. Nooo. Perky and bouncy completely don't cut it in those circumstances.

[Yes, yes. I know what y'all are thinking. "...But she said she was anti-B!" ]
[Well. If any of you even thought for one second that being anti-B meant being stripped of the right to admire the sculpted cheekbones and piercing eyes (they weren't green, but whatever) of the opposite sex; you so have another think coming.]
[Anyway it's like art appreciation, isn't it? It's practically the same thing. ]

[And besides, he was looking at me. ...What could I do- just flat out ignore him?!]
[Please. I'm not that uncultured and impolite. :D]

But whatever. He looked like those pampered-jock types, y'know. The kind I really can't stand.
The kind of guy who'd be most at home partying with an entire entourage of busty blondes [alliteration, huzzah] onboard Daddy's luxury yacht. The kind of guy who probably has never worked on anything before, save his abs.

[Not that I saw his abs, or anything. I'm just making assumptions here. And anyway, he was wearing a shirt. So stop hyperventilating already.]

But then again, I could be wrong. He might actually turn out to be a really neat guy. If I actually knew him.
Which I don't.
So- mistaken assumptions...fire away!

Blah, blah, blah.

OH YES. NOW I remember what I wanted to tell you all.
I think that LIFE AS WE KNOW IT has ended.
Ended.
Ended!!!

My life as I know it has ceased to exist.

Please, dear friends.

Comfort me in my grief.


"This much I know is true-
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you."
-Rascal Flatts; "God Blessed The Broken Road"

...What broken road? Singapore's transportation systems are freakishly efficient.
Also. Um. Led me straight to who? As far as I know, there's nobody I've been led to. Yet. *Led* to in *that* sense.

But hell. I like that song. <3

I had this weird dream in which I discovered that....

[Drumroll goes here.]

...that Audd was Lao Shi's - get this- daughter.
Yes.
I know.

I almost died of shock in my own dream. [Which, come to think of it, would have been incredibly lame. If I had managed to die, I mean.]
So Audd was Lao Shi's daughter; and, for some reason, Audd and I were pottering around on my balcony roof when Lao Shi came in and started looking for Audd.
And apparently she had gotten Audd a baby goat. [Kid. Baby goat. Whatever.]
How unfair. Lao Shi wouldn't even tell me her age...let alone buy me a baby goat.
And yes, I know she only got Audd a baby goat in my dream, but it's still the same concept and I am hurt. *pout*
And then she told Audd that it was time for them to go home and she and Audd got off my balcony roof and Audd was all hyperish and gloatingish because she had gotten a baby goat.

o__O I think I've been drinking one too many tea slushies.


Oh.
I GOT MY LIFE AS WE KNOW IT FIX YESTERDAY!
Andand I still think Sean Faris is hotness encapsulated; although he's a complete and total jerk.
Needless to say, that goes for most brainless neanderthals hot guys.

And then at night, I met...[*counts on fingers*] seven new cousins.
We all went down to the basement and the guys started playing pool and table tennis [neither of which is a game in which I actually have any skill], and one cousin-whose-name-I-forgot-but-I-think-might-be-Daniel-or-Jeremy offered to teach me how to play pool, but I declined.
Because, naturally, the whole pool deal reminded me of *insertnamehere*.
Nevertheless, my newfound cousins are NICE PEOPLE. *glee*

And apparently, there are approximately nine others I have yet to meet.

[Thus, the life of Cara- unedited and unabridged.]


Oh, which reminds me.

Why is everyone doubting my [currently] anti-B status?

Golly, people, it isn't as if I've got that much of a reputation or whatever. [If you have a differing opinion, keep your mouth shut on penalty of death. Pleasethanksverymuch.]
I've only had, like, um. Six online weirdodudes?
1. Thaydin [Ew, ew, ewwww. I still remember how Mrs Ng made Av and I stand up in class because Av drew a picture of Thaydin (as a pickle!!!) on my history textbook and I got all flustered and we made too much noise and Mrs Ng got angry.]
2. Darth Ravius [Drama King]
[Juran isn't counted because, technically, he and Tanaquil never really hit it off anyways.
Vash isn't counted either because Ithilfaer isn't Tanaquil. Duh.]
3. Kindan

...Kay, I know I've missed out someone.

OH YES.

Griffin.
Like, obviously.

...But see? All in all, those only add up to four online people. Oh, and Roy. Which makes five. Which is a number even smaller than the predicted figure; and anyway, the first four were all in roleplay. I mean, even Ana and darling Elemm and Seld and Ali have their charries all paired off anyway.
God forbid that my charries should be deprived of that same right.
*cuddles armful of charrie plushies*

Oh, but back to the whole anti-B thing.
Have you guys any idea how demoralizing- *hand to heart*- it is to have people doubt your staunch convictions?
Have you any idea what unfathomable depths of hurt you have inflicted upon my poor, misunderstood soul?

Oh cruel, cruel world.

I am anti-B. I am about as anti-B as I am a Diet Coke fanatic.
[...Yesss. When it comes to the point where I have to swear by Diet Coke- you know it's gotten down and dirty.]
But really. Yesterday, during a *particular* incident I'd refrain from mentioning...I suddenly realized just how much I've grown to dislike the perverse and hormone-charged
a) thoughts
b) words
c) deeds
d) all of the above

...of the B ranks.

Naturally, I have guy friends who are totally rad, too. I mean, c'mon- I hafta give them credit for being so great, and all.
But here, I'm talking about ze others.

Not that, y'know, I'm a hardcore feminist, or anything.
I don't lead rallies and protest that women should never be confined to kitchens. [Well, duh they shouldn't...but whatever. Point taken.]
I don't totally diss the opposite sex and spit in their faces and hurl rocks and stones in their faces and whatever else it is that feminist leaders do.
And I fully do not burn lingerie.
[I've never seen the point of burning lingerie anyway. I mean- yeah, it could be symbolic of the liberation of women, and the alleviation of the rights of the modern women and all...but wouldn't burning lingerie be giving the men more to ogle at?]

But just because I'm not a hardcore kitchen-hating, rally-leading, bra-burning feminist doesn't mean that I'm not entitled to target *certain* offensive members of the opposite gender.
When I come off the whole anti-B thingamajig, then I will fully let you guys know.

But in the meantime, just up and accept it already.
And while Nic may never hate Mathematics [highly unlikely that she'll ever lose interest in it, the dear.]...times, my friends, have changed.

Yes. I regret to inform you that [disclaimer: as of now, and for now] :

Lessons will no longer be entertaining.
Free periods will never again [at least, not as yet] be filled with the raucous chatter induced by tales of Cara And Guy And Co.
Never again will Cara have a reason to turn red at any mention of Dutch Land by pigtailed Female Viking cum Power Woman.
And never, never again will Av be able to tease Cara about the Ten Year Old Blonde Girl.

...May the memories of those good old times rest in peace.